How Couples Can Get on the Same Page About Angel Investing

Valentine’s Day is usually about love languages, dinner reservations, and maybe a thoughtful card. And I hope it is all that and more for you! But this Valentine’s Day I want to [also] talk about money. Ope, did you just tense up a little?!

Angel investing isn’t just a financial decision—it’s a values decision. And for couples, it often surfaces deeper questions about risk, security, and the future you’re building together. With Valentine’s Day as a reminder that strong partnerships are built on communication and trust, it’s worth asking: how do you have the money conversation in a way that brings you closer, not further apart?

And while I’m neither a financial advisor nor a marriage counselor, I've seen this dynamic play out. Let me share with you the playbook that seems to be working:

1. Level Set On Your Financial Situation And Goals

2. Align On Risk

3. Explore Angel Investing As A Portfolio

4. Build An Investment Thesis That Reflects Both Of You

5. Set Guardrails Together

For some couples, you might already be well grounded on the first few steps, so feel free to jump in where it makes most sense.

Level Set On Your Financial Situation And Goals

It is common for one person in the household to ‘manage’ the household finances. And I love a good, agreed-upon division of labor. But to have a productive conversation about angel investing, both people in the partnership need to be working off the same current information.

So to kick things off, it is important both people have a full understanding of the household’s financial situation. This could be an organic conversation about your current investments; assets and liabilities; and income. But if you like more structure, you could ask your financial advisor or wealth advisor to provide an updated Personal Financial Statement (or grab a free template online). This will be a full snapshot of your household net worth, asset allocation, and financial position. Starting with the macro financial view is a helpful way to ground the conversation. When you look at your investments as a percentage of a larger full pie, you can better see the interplay between decisions. 

From there, it is important to discuss household and individual goals to ensure your financial choices mirror your goals. So for example, if one person is considering quitting their full-time job soon to take care of children or start a new business venture you will likely want to keep more money “liquid” (basically a fancy way of saying money you can get at quickly. Think money market) to support this goal.

If you’re a visual learner, think of this as a champagne tower. You start pouring at the top (cover your basics), then as you have more to work with you can incorporate other investments and strategies. Keeping with the visual, the champagne will flow to the next level, and so forth. You need to financially cover the household basics before you venture into angel investing. We are not betting the farm to make angel investments. Rather, it is incorporated as you move down the layers of the champagne tower.

Align On Risk

Rarely have I met couples who see risk in the same way. As a universal truth about relationships, it seems there is always a free-spirited risk taker, who ends up with the person who reads the fine print, twice. This difference is not a problem to solve. Rather, when framed correctly, this can be a superpower in angel investing.

The Dempsey’s approach this with a clever veto power. Jack, who is quite engaged with startups, will introduce those he is excited to back to his wife Claire, who holds the veto power if something feels off.

It is important to understand risk tolerance isn’t just financial, it’s emotional. Create a safe space to share your thoughts around security, stability, and the legacy you want to build together.

The goal in this part of the conversation is to find alignment and clarity as a couple. Angel investing is high risk. The level of risk a household is willing to take should factor in personal comfort, goals, your age, and broader investment strategy.

And remember, alignment is ongoing, not a one-time agreement. Make a habit of checking in regularly not only on your angel investing, but also your overall investing approach.
Risk tolerance changes with life stage, career shifts, family dynamics, and other market conditions. Normalize this and be ready to adjust as needed.

Explore Angel Investing As A Portfolio

One of the riskiest things an investor could do is to write one angel check. The failure rate of startups is high, so the best way to offset this is by writing smaller checks over a diversified portfolio. The more startups in your portfolio, the better your odds of hitting a home run. If you’re curious to get into the law of probability and venture math, I’d encourage you to check out Daren Cotter’s blog post.

A few things you’ll want to start penciling out include how much total money you are willing to invest in this asset class, average check size you are comfortable with, ideal angel portfolio size, and how long you want to deploy that money (or, stated differently, how many investments per year are you targeting).

Agreeing on this together, especially in the beginning, can help build a roadmap that both partners feel aligned to.

Build An Investment Thesis That Reflects Both Of You

Ok and now my favorite part, building an angel investment thesis! An investment thesis serves as a lighthouse guiding your investment decisions to ensure they are aligned with your stated goals and passions. Developing and auditing your investment thesis is an important step in angel investing.

At this point let your curiosity drive you so you can collect more data points. Take the opportunity to explore together, ask questions, and make it feel collaborative and less jargon-filled. Some ideas include attending an event together, reviewing a pitch deck side-by-side; or talking through win / lose scenarios for a startup. If looking for a great place to do that, check out Groove’s Pitch Series. The event, which happens multiple times a year, puts you in the investor’s seat. 

After both people have a baseline level of exposure, think about the types of startups you want to invest in. To help get the conversation started, think about why each of you are interested in angel investing. What types of founders do you want to support? Is there a geography or industry you’d like to focus on?

As you both share ideas, look for the common themes that start to surface. These will be the building blocks of your investment thesis.

Set Guardrails Together

After you’re aligned on the above, the next item of business is to think about how much control you want to have in the process and the time you’re willing to put into it. For those that want to keep complete autonomy, and have the time, being an angel is a great way to do that (whether through an angel group or syndicate). Couples looking to build a portfolio more rapidly, or who have less time to put into it, might find being an LP in an early-stage venture fund more suitable.  

Another piece of setting the guardrails is to explore what success looks like. I think everyone should be aiming for return on investment, but beyond that, are there other tangible things you are hoping to get out of angel investing? This could be building financial literacy, building a broader community of peers, staying at the cutting edge, etc.

In addition to driving financial returns and investing locally, Morgan Kennedy wanted to use angel investing as a way to build her financial literacy. Together with her husband, who works in finance, she took on the role of primary point of contact to gain direct, hands-on experience. 

Closing Thoughts

The strongest investment couples make isn’t in startups; it’s in staying aligned with each other. I just so happen to believe (yes, I’m biased) that angel investing is a great way for couples to continually revisit topics like financial goals; shared vision for the future; and committing to learn together.